- Thread starter Midswat
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Yes but I was imitating the guy from silence of the lambs
Ever piss on your wife when you were drunk because you thought her face was the toilet bowl
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How do you think I felt when I had a clump of feces on my tongue
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7.5 inches
Antz or bugs life?
Antz or bugs life?
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I purposely looked at a ton of boobs on the Internet before I went to sleep so I'd have boob dreams . I banged a bunch of girls through a volley ball net.
The best thing about lucid dreaming is that during any point of your dream you're like "put down the plexi glass lady I'm humping"
The best thing about lucid dreaming is that during any point of your dream you're like "put down the plexi glass lady I'm humping"
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I quit 99% of the time. I rarely do it to "completion."
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Tantric masturbation. Interesting
Bob Sacamano
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too many.
What would this forum be like with rules? Besides the un-written don't be a realist/racist rule.
What would this forum be like with rules? Besides the un-written don't be a realist/racist rule.
Rynie
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Sheik. I don't know why. What is the OLDEST woman you've been with?
cmd34(work)
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Glad you asked. It was the 4th quarter of Monday Night Football. For the first time ever, the Dallas Cowboys had a regular season game played in January. The season was shortened to 9 games because of the first NFL Players strike. Divisions were done away with for the year.
Dallas trailed the Vikings, 13 to 24 after Rick Danmeier returned a Danny White pass the other way for a score. Minnesota pinned the Cowboys inside the 1 yard line and things looked hopeless.
My Mom was watching the game with me and said, "Well, what are your Cowboys going to do now?" At the time the longest rushing TD in the NFL had been a 97 yard score by Andy Uram of the Chicago Bears in 1939.
I confidently replied, "No problem, Tony Dorsett is going to break the NFL record right here." I can see the future. Plus, I knew if my prediction didn't come true, I could just Lock myself in my room and pretend that I had never said it.
Tony Dorsett was the single setback, because the FB forgot to enter the game. Dallas had only 10 men on the field. It must have helped that Tony didn't have to avoid his lead blocker. To this day I wonder why Coach Landry didn't play every down from that day forward with a ten-man-single-back-set. I still remember Frank Gifford's call, "huge opening for Tony Dorsett, look out he's got great speed." In the background Don Meredith was saying it by the time Tony hit the 30 yard line, "99 yards and a half."
Then you could hear Howard Cosell, "99 yards. i think it's the longest run in the History of the league."
I had a big bowl of popcorn in my lap, I jumped up and it went flying. I also raised by arms and hit a huge potted fern that my Mom loved and it went flying. I had huge chunks of fern draped over my head and popcorn and fern were all over the floor. I destroyed that fern. Did I mention my Mom loved it literally two sentences ago? It was really quite beautiful. I may have forgotten to mention that my Mom loved it.
I heard something and slowly turned my head to the right and saw my mother lying across the couch laughing her *** off. She was snorting and holding her ribs lying on her side. Tears running down her face. I was trying to apologize for destroying the plant (which she loved), and she didn't care one bit. Sad it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. We don't get alot of entertainment in Arizona, so you can imagine how funny my Mom thought it was that there was a fern, which I may have forgotten to mention that she loved, on my head, which she also loved.
I told that story at her funeral in May and everyone was laughing. This is the part where I want you to offer me condolences, yet again. I bring my Mother's death up at least once daily so I can get attention from this forum. Don't ask me why, just how I was raised. By my Mother. Who loved ferns.
It is perhaps my favorite moment ever in a Cowboys loss. I am proud of the record Tony holds, but it also has the significance of that story for me which is a precious memory of a better time in my life. I was home from college for the Christmas break.
I can still remember how cold the wet fern (WHICH MY MOTHER FUCKING LOVED HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT BEFORE YOU ASK ME ABOUT MY MOM) was on my head, and trying to see the carnage and the end of the touchdown through the shoots draped over my face and eyes. Still smell and taste the hot buttered popcorn that mom made in a pan on the stove the old fashioned way. (FEEL THE NOSTALGIA) Can still hear Frank, Don, and Howard praising Tony. I remember Drew Pearson was the first guy to congratulate him.
I still remember the belief we were going to come back and win that game too. You see, Tony Dorsett rushing for 100 yards was a good omen for the Cowboys. Up to that point, only one time in his career had he hit 100+ yards and the Cowboys lost.
That TD made it 20-24. Ron Springs later scored too for a 27-24 Cowboys lead, but the Vikings scored on a late TD pass, I think Tommy Kramer threw it. The Vikings won 27-31.
43 times in his Cowboys career Tony Dorsett eclipsed the 100 yard mark in a football game. 39 times when that happened we won. Only 4 times did he reach that mark and the Cowboys fail to capitalize.
It was 29 yars ago today, and it doesn't feel that long ago at all. Do you like how this story, about Tony Dorsett's record setting run, was all about me? And my mom, who I loved, and who in turn loved ferns?
Peace, amigos.