Brand new board function- resident Psychiatrist/Therapist

[dbair1967]

I like soccer.

The best advice I can give you is strongly consider offing yourself. I know I consider it when I'm channel changing and see soccer come on.

 

[Rock Slamdance]

Hey Rock, I talked to my sis and she said you gave her herpes. Is this true?

True. But she should really be concerned with the AIDS i gave her.

 

[marionbarberthe4th]

Should I punch a guy when he gets out of jail if I was supposed to punch him before he went into jail?

 

[Cythim]

The best advice I can give you is strongly consider offing yourself. I know I consider it when I'm channel changing and see soccer come on.

I love myself too much to be able to do that.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Lets go people. This is a thread for those who seek answers to life long problems.

Why do you talk about me so often?

 

[dbair1967]

Should I punch a guy when he gets out of jail if I was supposed to punch him before he went into jail?

Why are you wanting to punch this person? We need to determine if he is deserving.

 

[dbair1967]

I love myself too much to be able to do that.

You will still be able to love yourself in the afterlife.

 

[marionbarberthe4th]

Why are you wanting to punch this person? We need to determine if he is deserving.

Eh, Ill leave personal issues off the board. That doesnt seem to go well for people.

Lets just say hes halfway through about 3 years and he should have gotten more

Further details: I am a steel 6'1" about 180. Hes mostly a doof and messes w/ weapons

 

[dbair1967]

Eh, Ill leave personal issues off the board. That doesnt seem to go well for people.

Lets just say hes halfway through about 3 years and he should have gotten more

Further details: I am a steel 6'1" about 180. Hes mostly a doof and messes w/ weapons

Does he have a wife? Perhaps you will feel better if you engage in some wild sex with her.

 

[Plymkr]

Dbair...

Last night I plowed your sister. We did some pretty dirty stuff. After, I couldn't even look her in the eye. She ceased to be human to me. Anyway, now i feel kind of bad. Not because I nailed your sister, but because I left my baseball cap at her place.

what I'm asking is: can you get my hat for me? And tell her I died and she should never call me. Ever. Unless she wants to do the thing we did last night again with a friend.

Dude, you are toast now. That's exactly what I did and now it burns when I pee.

 

[dbair1967]

Dude, you are toast now. That's exactly what I did and now it burns when I pee.

You should try the cut of your wang treatment. You'll forget all about the burning pee, I promise.

 

[dbair1967]

Bump. Time to get this going again.

 

[peplaw06]

Bob's avatar gives me a chubby. I need help.

 

[Jon88]

I'm pretty sure I knocked my girlfriend up, but I'm not ready to be a dad. What should I do?

 

[dbair1967]

Bob's avatar gives me a chubby. I need help.

I closely examined Bob's avatar. Apparently you are fascinated by pink unicorn's humping. This is deeply disturbing and I believe you need serious treatment.

I would suggest you drive to the closest funny farm and check in asap. I believe you also have a civil case vs Midswat, as he is the culprit behind Bob's gruesome avatar.

 

[dbair1967]

I'm pretty sure I knocked my girlfriend up, but I'm not ready to be a dad. What should I do?

You could always blame it on someone else.

 

[dbair1967]

Originally Posted by Jon88
I'm pretty sure I knocked my girlfriend up, but I'm not ready to be a dad. What should I do?

You could always blame it on someone else.

Jon I apologize, my advice there was insensitive and probably wouldnt solve the problem.

Here's what you do:

Take your GF to a nice restaurant like Burger King or McDonalds. Explain to her that on the day she believes she got knocked up, that you had actually already beat off 9 times to some nude pictures you had of her best friend. Now she might question why you would have pictures of her best friend bent over on all 4's, but thats irrelevent.

Tell her that after the marathon beat off session, all your baby batter for that day had been used up, and with that in mind it would have been impossible for you to father any children on that particular day.

Hope this helps.

 

[Jon88]

Thank you so much! That is a great idea!

 

[Sheik]

You know how when you flush the toilet after taking a shit, then wash yours, but before you leave the bathroom you look at the toilet and there's still a little shit in there?

= This thread.

 

[Midswat]

lol