The Jerry Jones deathwatch thread

MrB · Mar 16, 2016

The guys on The Fan the other day were talking about how old Jerry is looking lately. Like even more old than he usually looks. Also how his speech is even kind of slow lately. They were speculating that he may be sick. If that's true that would explain why Stephen brought this guy in.

ADMIN NOTE: We merged several posts on this great topic, to its own thread. Which it highly deserves. Please post ALL information on Jerry's long awaited deterioration and hopefully lingering suffering horrible death, here.

Doomsday · Mar 16, 2016

MrB said:
The guys on The Fan the other day were talking about how old Jerry is looking lately. Like even more old than he usually looks. Also how his speech is even kind of slow lately. They were speculating that he may be sick.

I hope he frikkin DIES soon. In the most suffering and painful way possible.

dbair1967 · Mar 16, 2016

MrB said:
The guys on The Fan the other day were talking about how old Jerry is looking lately. Like even more old than he usually looks. Also how his speech is even kind of slow lately. They were speculating that he may be sick. If that's true that would explain why Stephen brought this guy in.

I posted this several weeks ago after seeing him and hearing him on TV.

He looks really bad, like sick bad. he sounds bad. I wonder if all the liquor has finally done his liver in and if his body is just breaking down.

MrB · Mar 16, 2016

dbair1967 said:
I posted this several weeks ago after seeing him and hearing him on TV.

He looks really bad, like sick bad. he sounds bad. I wonder if all the liquor has finally done his liver in and if his body is just breaking down.

That's what I was thinking, that the drinking may have finally caught up with him.

yimyammer · Mar 16, 2016

dbair1967 said:
I posted this several weeks ago after seeing him and hearing him on TV.

He looks really bad, like sick bad. he sounds bad. I wonder if all the liquor has finally done his liver in and if his body is just breaking down.

did you see that interview with Stephen talking about his jerri? He got really emotional and teared up and I was thinking it was an odd reaction. Maybe somethings up and they're keeping it quiet

dbair1967 · Mar 16, 2016

yimyammer said:
did you see that interview with Stephen talking about his jerri? He got really emotional and teared up and I was thinking it was an odd reaction. Maybe somethings up and they're keeping it quiet

Yeah I did, wonder the same thing

MrB · Mar 16, 2016

yimyammer said:
did you see that interview with Stephen talking about his jerri? He got really emotional and teared up and I was thinking it was an odd reaction. Maybe somethings up and they're keeping it quiet

Jerry got all emotional too the other day when he was talking about his kids. Something may definitely be going on with him.

Scot · Mar 16, 2016

Last interview I saw with him on his bang bus he looked near deaths door

Let's all pray for Jerry!

Let's pray the good lord finally calls his favorite NFL owner home soon

onlyonenow · Mar 17, 2016

IF Jerruh is sick that would explain a lot of things going on right now- as the fact that NOTHING is going on right now.

ThoughtExperiment · Mar 17, 2016

Yeah, that's weird because a few of us remarked when he did his combine interviews that he was speaking really slowly, like old and feeble people do.

If we're not going to win anyway, I hope he lives as long as possible to see that he really can't do it without Jimmy no matter how hard or long he tries.

yimyammer · Mar 17, 2016

ThoughtExperiment said:
Yeah, that's weird because a few of us remarked when he did his combine interviews that he was speaking really slowly, like old and feeble people do.

If we're not going to win anyway, I hope he lives as long as possible to see that he really can't do it without Jimmy no matter how hard or long he tries.

Here's a transcribed quote from one of his interviews"

Sometimes coming in from college when you got immediate scrutiny, immediate, IMPROMPTATU, type testing...that's almost like being on Mars in college and you could, ah, ah, shoot somebody and they got a ticket and you got the United States and still thought you were on Mars, you can't shoot people and get a ticket.. in the, on the, on earth. Well picture that coming from college sometime immediately. Most of the people who are in the NFL program, are, they've been in the league or veterans, so to speak, not rookies, so its particularly a challenge.

What the fuck? Can anyone understand that gibberish? I get a headache trying to decipher his nonsense

SixisBetter · Mar 17, 2016

yimyammer said:
Can anyone understand that gibberish?

That's some authentic frontier gibberish.

Doomsday · Mar 17, 2016

And the official deathwatch, begins.

Doomsday · Mar 18, 2016

Jerry Jones said:
Sometimes coming in from college when you got immediate scrutiny, immediate, IMPROMPTATU, type testing...that's almost like being on Mars in college and you could, ah, ah, shoot somebody and they got a ticket and you got the United States and still thought you were on Mars, you can't shoot people and get a ticket.. in the, on the, on earth. Well picture that coming from college sometime immediately. Most of the people who are in the NFL program, are, they've been in the league or veterans, so to speak, not rookies, so its particularly a challenge.

yimyammer said:
What the fuck? Can anyone understand that gibberish? I get a headache trying to decipher his nonsense

He is saying he knows what it is like to be on the planet Mars and in college, (The University of Mars where Otis Sistrunk graduated from according to Alex Karras) and on Mars you can shoot someone and only get a ticket for it. And that players drafted or signed from the University of Mars come here and think that rule still applies here. So he can see their confusion, not being able to shoot anyone here and only get a ticket for it. So that it is okay with him if you are a college player and shoot people, because of the whole, different laws on Mars thing.

boozeman · Mar 18, 2016

He will never die. Even when his body dies in the literal sense, his head will be pickled in a jar Futurama-style and he will live on

Midswat · Mar 18, 2016

Dick move.

Logged in to see this and immediately thought it was on intensive care or some shit. You fucks... this thread will go on for like 10 years thanks to medical science and his bottomless pockets.

TheCowboyCritic · Mar 21, 2016

What thread is this?

Is this any way to speak of a man who has served the Dallas Cowboys organization so well? Shame on those of you who take part in this insurrection!!

Rynie · Mar 24, 2016

Scot · Mar 25, 2016

Hey...,

If he dies before training camp maybe we will end up with a new coach before the start of the season

I doubt Baby Jerry will take to the ass kissing dick sucking by Garret as well as Jerry has

dbair1967 · Mar 25, 2016

Stay classy DCU!!!!

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