Watched the 20/20 piece on him last night. That guy was genuinely just goofy/funny.
Suicide is such a fucked up thing. No matter how much you try to understand it, or understand why someone would do it, nobody can really know. Or maybe you can if you've been in that state of mind before and come through it, but if you haven't, there's no making sense of it. Sure, you can say "oh, he was in so much pain.", but what the fuck does anyone know about what kind of pain it takes for someone to leave like that?
Then on the other hand, you want to feel something for that person, but it's such a fucked situation, how can you feel sorry for someone that does such a thing? The person chose to die. You feel for the family, obviously, and you miss the person, but I don't understand mourning the circumstances.
Not sure if that makes sense. Depression, whatever the fuck that is, has a strangle hold on my Dad's side of the family. My grandfather died by suicide years ago. My uncle has been battling depression for going on about 5 years. Through his struggles, I reached out to my grandfathers side of the family and found out that one of his sisters completed suicide, and one of his other brothers is believed to have done the same. It's such an weird thing. Chemical deficiency or whatever. I think this problem is so common because the root of it is the brain, and anything to do with mind illness is such a personal thing. Nobody likes to admit they're fucked in the head.
Through the bit of research I've done, it's mind blowing just how common suicide is. And it will drive you fuckin bananas trying to make sense of it. Someone who is stable cannot fathom why a person would do that sort of thing, but it always comes back to the person being fucked in the head, so we really shouldn't be able to understand it.