Always something with guys like Dez
By Jennifer Floyd Engel
Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant has $800,000 worth of bling, and that is just the unpaid stuff.
Talk about spending your money wisely.
Is anybody better prepared financially for a long lockout or life post-football than this guy? And his financial silliness just adds a litigious layer to his already bumpy first 365 as a Cowboy, with sagging and dog cussing and general jackassery.
Who possibly could have seen this whole Bryant-lockout imbroglio coming, right?
Oh right, lots of NFL teams did. It is why he was available for Dallas at No. 24, because a lot of teams did their due diligence and were scared by his rep as an "always something" guy. A few totally took him off of their boards, as in Do. Not. Draft.
The Cowboys never should have drafted this idiot. But they did. And everybody at Valley Ranch and beyond who argued that his talent justified this leap: this is what you signed up for, so quit looking so surprised.
The anonymous cries of unmanageable child from Cowboys types are laughable. How is this news to anybody?
The thing with always something guys is there is always something.
They are late. They bend rules. They do not study as hard. They do not know the plays. They do not listen to the coach. They whine. They jive at The Joule. They act like they are 12. They surround themselves with shady friends. There is always a controversy, a headache, or something that has nothing to do with football.
Although I would argue the outrage is a little excessive now.
"Pray for him," said Deion Sanders (or was that Prime tweeting?) in a message on Wednesday, as if Dez has been diagnosed with a disease other than chronic immaturity.
Dez has not been involved in a gun fight, like police have accused Aqib Talib and his momma of doing. Talk about taking Amy Chua's Tiger Mom advice to the next level. Nor has he been busted for drugs or drunk driving. He's guilty of being stupid, not criminal.
And speaking of mommas, Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland took a media beating for asking Dez about his momma pre-draft.
His question, while insensitively phrased, was fair.
He should have asked: What role do your parents have in your life? Or in other words, who advises/mentors an "always something" guy like yourself when the lockout comes next year and we have zero influence?
Paid friends? Celebrity friends? Girlfriends?
Your crew? The people you keep around to keep it real?
The guy trying to sell jewelry? The guy with the hand in your pocket?
Because as Dez is quickly learning, those people are transitory at best, predatory at worst. Let's start with that fraud Deion, who seems to be getting a lot of play for publicly dumping Dez as a mentee, or washing his hands, or whatever version of this schtick you heard in his 457 different interviews.
Did not listen. Do not care.
The vibe I get from Deion is it is always about him. And when you are screwing up left and right like Dez seems to be lately, what you really need is for it to be about you. He needs people who actually care to get him through this since the Cowboys are prohibited from stepping in.
And now I am talking to you, Dez. You need to call Bill Parcells.
You will not like him. Players rarely do, not until later, when they are not asking, "Do you want fries with that?" while wearing a diamond-encrusted No. 88.
He is irascible, opinionated, a pain in the butt, frankly. He will not tell you that the media is to blame, or the cops were wrong or really anything you want to hear. He will tell you to bank whatever is left of your bonus money, live on what amounts to a single game check for a year. He will explain that, if you do this, you will be able to live on the interest through lockouts and you will find out who your real friends are when you are not paying the Foot Locker bill.
He will not worry too much about your pants, that stuff never really was his thing. But he will jump your butt about how you comport yourself in lines at the Apple Store and how hard you work on your playbook/conditioning/job and all of the little things that go into making you a professional and a man.
That is truth. That is keeping it real.
That is a mentor. That is a friend.
That is exactly what you need right now rather than advice from an adviser who was helping you break NCAA rules, or an agent/friend/business partner who stands to make money from you, or the hypocrite who is your mentor right until he is telling the world why he has given up on you.
Like I said, I never would have drafted him. But they did.
So I will pray for him. I pray Dez finds an adviser who really keeps it real before "always something" turns into something tragic.