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As a young boy I would religiously read the Consumer Reports magazine my mom had a subscription for. That was my first dream job - test shit and rate it. But then one day after noticing that almost everything I ever saw had the same label somewhere on it, I asked my step dad, "What does it mean, UL Listed?" His answer was "that's a group of Jews that won't let you sell your stuff unless they approve. They double the cost of everything produced." No, you fuckin backwoods arkensaw hillbilly baboon bumpkin, that ain't what it is.
When I did finally find out what it is, Underwriters' Laboratories - that became my dream job - test things to failure and break shit. Get paid to wear shit out, to blow shit up and to see what happens when you light christmas trees on fire. That became my dream job and still is.
One of my buddies' dream job was to be in the military. To break things and kill people. I wanted to break things to save lives.
Another label I kept seeing on shit prompted another question to my step dad, "Who's Pat Pending?" He says, "That's a dyke who invented almost everything there is, she's richer than Moses."
Anyway, what's your dream job as a kid? Let's hear about it.
When I did finally find out what it is, Underwriters' Laboratories - that became my dream job - test things to failure and break shit. Get paid to wear shit out, to blow shit up and to see what happens when you light christmas trees on fire. That became my dream job and still is.
One of my buddies' dream job was to be in the military. To break things and kill people. I wanted to break things to save lives.
Another label I kept seeing on shit prompted another question to my step dad, "Who's Pat Pending?" He says, "That's a dyke who invented almost everything there is, she's richer than Moses."
Anyway, what's your dream job as a kid? Let's hear about it.