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Four days before the Jets and Browns played in November, Rex Ryan excused himself from his weekly news conference. A few moments later, he returned in a size XXXXXL Browns T-shirt. Long blond curls spilled generously from beneath a Browns cap. A pillow filled out the pup tent.

Get the joke? Rex was spoofing his brother Rob, then the Browns’ defensive coordinator.

The Cowboys hope the resemblance is more than skin deep. Jason Garrett is hiring Rob to do for the Cowboys’ defense what his twin has done for the Jets in general.

Whether this move leads to a league championship game or Super Bowl or just slapstick remains to be seen, but the Cowboys are certainly going where they’ve never gone before.

Buddy’s boy will be the Cowboys’ defensive coordinator. The son of the coach once accused of putting a bounty on a Cowboy will attempt to fix what Mr. Fix-It couldn’t. In another era, under a different owner, it would have been the equivalent of hiring George Allen’s son. Or maybe Stalin’s.

But for good or bad, Jerry Jones changed the Cowboys’ culture a long time ago. He once said 500 coaches could coach the Cowboys, and he proved it by hiring Barry Switzer. Bringing in a Ryan is no more audacious.

At least not until Rob gets up to talk. Then it could get interesting.

Observers say Rex is the louder of the twins, but chances are he’s just been afforded the bigger stage. When you’re performing in Cleveland and Oakland, as Rob has, people don’t notice your act as much.

But Rex is on Broadway. If he didn’t already command everyone’s attention, he got it when he said the Jets’ game against the Colts’ Peyton Manning two weeks ago was “personal.” He did it again last week, calling the game against the Patriots a matter of Ryan vs. Bill Belichick.

Pop psychologists contend there’s a reason for this. By taking the attention off the game and placing it on himself, he’s putting his chin right out there alongside theirs. As a result, they’ll do anything for him. Rex’s comments also help deflate the myths that rise up around the NFL’s upper class. For all their talents, Manning, Belichick and Tom Brady are just men. When hit, they bleed.

The logic sounds reasonable, and maybe the Ryans really are that smart. Or maybe they just figure football should be fun.

Consider Rex’s outrageous take on his twin in November. Among other jabs, he said Rob should have had lap-band surgery, as he once did.

“That clearly is a mistake for him,” Rex told reporters. “I’ve always been the big twin. Now I’m just the smart, good-looking twin. And he’s now the big twin.”

Rob had better produce results as big as Rex’s. For the first time in his NFL career, he’ll have the material. A fierce pass rush is pretty much the bedrock of the Ryan defensive philosophy, formed by their father. Until now, Rob’s never had a pass rusher like DeMarcus Ware. If Jerry can find him a safety and a corner, he shouldn’t have any complaints.

Not about his own players, anyway. He might have something to say about others’.

Barking and bragging is simply the Ryan way, a practice that could soon become a trend among head coaches. This is how football logic works. Winning is validation. The more smack Rex talks, the more he wins, the more likely Jerry Springer ends up a sideline reporter.

Don’t think other teams and players haven’t noticed. On a Miami radio station, Antrel Rolle, the Giants’ safety, said he respects his coach, Tom Coughlin, but wishes he weren’t so uptight.

He wishes Coughlin were more like the other coach in New York.

“That team,” Rolle said, “is going to war for him.”

That would be the Jets’ coach. The Cowboys hope they got one just like him. There’s certainly a resemblance, but we’ve been fooled before by twins. Bonus points if you can name Jose Canseco’s.
 
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