Give an exit interview for each starter

[marionbarberthe4th]

Romo - its not your fault
Murray - I like you but I want another back too
dez- don't be mad at us
Miles - ಠ_ಠ
Witten - I'm Over it
Tyron
Leary - that'll do
Frederick - hey how bout that
Mackenzie - sure why not
Free- whatever illegal drugs you took can you share it

Ware - ummmm yeaaaaa. This is awkward
Crawford - ?
Hatcher - have fun in Cincy/ Oakland/ Chicago
Spencer - have fun in Cincy/ Oakland / chicago
Sean lee - it all averages out to a B
Carter - what is it you would say you do here ?
Other starter - ??
Claireborne - glad you could join us at least
Church - rip sp
Heath - DON'T CHANGE A THING OMG IT'S WORKING
Carr - could ya not

 

[marionbarberthe4th]

Mods sticky

 

[cmd34(work)]

Romo - just kidding, give us back a few million
Murray - this "heart" thing you play with, tell us more about it
dez- maturity is the only thing holding you back
Miles - thanks for your service
Witten - could you maybe stop celebrating meaningless first downs on one play and then dropping crucial passes/interceptions the next
Tyron - Enjoy Hawaii
Leary - Bed rest, can't risk the knee injury
Frederick - Hopefully we'll get you some help
Mackenzie - Where'd that come from? Looks at next year's salary...Good luck next year
Free- Way to man up. Could you talk to Claiborne for us?

Ware - We'll get you some help but you you need to give up some cash
Crawford - Who invited you here to this list of starters?
Hatcher - Best of luck.
Spencer - Say hi to Rob for us.
Sean Lee - You're going to be on a Strasberg-like pitch count next year
Carter - What happened to you?
Holloman - Time to step up.
Claiborne - Might we suggest some testosterone?
Church - We're changing your number to #52.
Heath - What were we thinking? Good god you are awful.
Carr - Give us back some money and we'll get you a Safety.

 

[Omegasupreme]

Romo - We are saving up for a chalkboard with actual Xs and Os. We haven't had real plays here since Tuna.
Murray - sorry we doubted you but it's really tough to trust 10 yards per carry when winning 26-3. You understand?
Dez- Remember: Winning is for chumps. Training your head coach is a trophy you keep for life.
Miles - Can you play runningback?
Witten - Are you growing more hair or losing your hair? We can't tell.
Tyron - Do you pronounce your name "/tire iron/"? Smiff is much easier to figure out.
Leary - Leary? We are downright apprehensive!
Frederick - Last time the Center was the only good player on a Texas team was Yao Ming.
Mackenzie - Despite your improved play, we just can't understand how to say your last name. Goodbye!
Free- I hear Linda Hogan is available.

Ware - Knock knock. Who's Ware?
Crawford - You were drafted high enough to be solid depth inside the 53 but outside the 46.
Hatcher - We just can't keep all of these Jason's.
Spencer - See you in Philly.
Sean Lee - Have you spent any time with Jason Sehorn?
Carter - You just can't brain today because of your dumb.
Holloman - We would like to holla back atcha.
Claiborne - Listen Liz, we are changing your jersey to pink.
Church - you are strong and free, but just not all that safe for the secondary.
Heath - Use that speed of yours to make for the parking lot.
Carr - We have to find a way to keep your gear in overdrive. You tend to enjoy neutral and park.

 

[dbair1967]

Romo - just kidding, give us back a few million
Murray - this "heart" thing you play with, tell us more about it
dez- maturity is the only thing holding you back
Miles - thanks for your service
Witten - could you maybe stop celebrating meaningless first downs on one play and then dropping crucial passes/interceptions the next
Tyron - Enjoy Hawaii
Leary - Bed rest, can't risk the knee injury
Frederick - Hopefully we'll get you some help
Mackenzie - Where'd that come from? Looks at next year's salary...Good luck next year
Free- Way to man up. Could you talk to Claiborne for us?

Ware - We'll get you some help but you you need to give up some cash
Crawford - Who invited you here to this list of starters?
Hatcher - Best of luck.
Spencer - Say hi to Rob for us.
Sean Lee - You're going to be on a Strasberg-like pitch count next year
Carter - What happened to you?
Holloman - Time to step up.
Claiborne - Might we suggest some testosterone?
Church - We're changing your number to #52.
Heath - What were we thinking? Good god you are awful.
Carr - Give us back some money and we'll get you a Safety.

CMD for the win

 

[marionbarberthe4th]

Romo - We are saving up for a chalkboard with actual Xs and Os. We haven't had real plays here since Tuna.
Murray - sorry we doubted you but it's really tough to trust 10 yards per carry when winning 26-3. You understand?
Dez- Remember: Winning is for chumps. Training your head coach is a trophy you keep for life.
Miles - Can you play runningback?
Witten - Are you growing more hair or losing your hair? We can't tell.
Tyron - Do you pronounce your name "/tire iron/"? Smiff is much easier to figure out.
Leary - Leary? We are downright apprehensive!
Frederick - Last time the Center was the only good player on a Texas team was Yao Ming.
Mackenzie - Despite your improved play, we just can't understand how to say your last name. Goodbye!
Free- I hear Linda Hogan is available.

Ware - Knock knock. Who's Ware?
Crawford - You were drafted high enough to be solid depth inside the 53 but outside the 46.
Hatcher - We just can't keep all of these Jason's.
Spencer - See you in Philly.
Sean Lee - Have you spent any time with Jason Sehorn?
Carter - You just can't brain today because of your dumb.
Holloman - We would like to holla back atcha.
Claiborne - Listen Liz, we are changing your jersey to pink.
Church - you are strong and free, but just not all that safe for the secondary.
Heath - Use that speed of yours to make for the parking lot.
Carr - We have to find a way to keep your gear in overdrive. You tend to enjoy neutral and park.

 

[Jon88]

Romo - Not a bad year. Thanks for being one of the four or five players who care every week.
Murray - Good way to turn things on towards the last third of the season.
dez- Good season
Miles - You know to pack your shit now, right?
Witten - Time to part ways
Tyron Great season
Leary - Solid season
Frederick - Pleasantly surprised. Nice.
Mackenzie - You really turned it on after the first half of the season. We'll see you in mini camps.
Free- Nice way to turn your career around. Keep it up.

Ware - So you aren't taking a pay cut now? Ok, bye.
Hatcher - It's a business, and you are no longer allowed on the premises. We don't have room for stupid players who run their mouths to the media.
Spencer - Bye
Sean lee - You need to fix whatever the problem is with all these injuries, but other than that you had a good season.
Carter - You're cut. You are the laziest player I have ever seen in my life. You should be embarrassed, but I know you aren't.
Claireborne - Do you think this is what we expected from you?
Church - Spotty play here and there
Heath - It wasn't fair to throw you in the lineup like that as a rookie from a small school.
Carr - You are a piece of shit. Did you really think we signed you for $50 million to chase people around? You're also cut.

 

[Jon88]

Can we bump this down? I think it's done.


Thanks!

 

[Rock Slamdance]

Romo--thanks for keeping us in the hunt...again.
Murray--hopefully they start treating you like the burgeoning star you are.
Dez--keep the emotions in check just a tad. Other than that, keep on truckin.
Miles--Thanks for your service. Here is a nice watch.
Witten--Consistent as usual. Hopefully one day you'll get to play for a championship (with another team, sadly)
Smith--Keep it up.
Leary--Keep it up.
Frederick--Sorry I blasted you on draft day.
Mackenzie--Surprise of the year.
Free--Not bad.

Ware--See Witten, but with injuiries.
Spencer--Nice knowing you.
Hayden--Hope to have you back as a rotation player.
Hatcher--You were always dumped on by our fans. Glad you had a great season and are gonna get paid.
Lee--Stay. Healthy.
Carter--2014 is your make or break season.
Durant--You'll get a spot in the Kevin Hardy wing of Cowboys history.
Mo--Bust
Heath--I know you were in over your head, but I hate you you wanna be Lynn Scott.
Church--Best season by a safety we've had in years, and still not great. But you have heart.
Carr--I hope it was just Old Man Kiffin that lead to your shitty season.

 

[CobraKai]

Romo - it's not you it's us.
Murray - thanks for the critical turnovers, i really liked that one time you leveled a DL
Dez - get used to this
Witten - I'm not even sure you're trying anymore
Miles - was kim k worth it?
Smith - you make it move
Leary - I think I saw you on TV like 4 times this year
Fred - we block the NT here, thanks for noticing after costing us the KC game
Mack - stay french, baby
Free - bald is beautiful now

Ware - it's like watching the end of Old Yeller
Selvie - you can get the business
Hayden - I'm still not sure who you are
Hatcher - thanks for showing up in a contract year. GFY
Lee - whatever, you fucking tease
Carter - go run track, you can't play
Durant - I guess you play for us
Oscan - I've always loved you
Carr - at least you're not Finnegan
Heath - I'm sorry you had to play
Church - who needs speed when you are this good?

Bailey - please stay
Our punter - fuck off

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Romo - Extension! cuz you're white.
Murray - black
Miles - black
Witten - extension
Smith - black
Leary - black
Fred - extension
Mack - black
Free - extension

Ware - black
Selvie - black
Hayden - We're trading you to the blacks
Hatcher - Don't mind that I'm clutching my pocketbook. It's moreso because you're black, not a pending free agent
Lee - extension
Carter - Thanks for reinforcing the stereotypes, blacky
Durant - black
Oscan - black
Carr - black
Heath - Traded to the Mexicans
Church - black

Bailey - extension
Chris Jones - extension

 

[Jon88]

 

[Omegasupreme]

Took me a while to figure out who Oscan was.