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By David Thomas
dthomas@ star-telegram.com
We encourage members of our Fans' Insider Investigative Team -- motto: "When news breaks, we are there to pick up all of the pieces" -- to take the holidays off and look for community service opportunities.
A couple of our members volunteered as Santa Clauses in local malls.
But once the holidays are over, the kid (and Santa) gloves come off and it's back to getting the hands dirty doing our muckraking best to unearth what is going on behind the scenes in the sports world.
That duty takes us to Valley Ranch, where the interview process began this week to wrap up the exhaustive search for the new non-interim head coach of the Dallas Cowboys of Arlington.
Who, reportedly, will be Jason Garrett.
Our I-Team was able to secure the audio from one interview Jones conducted with an unidentified candidate.
Sounds to us like Jason has been Jerry's man all along.
Here's the interview transcript so you can judge for yourself...
Jerry: "Thank you for coming in for this interview."
Candidate: "Thank you for the opportunity. I believe every coach would want to become head coach of America's Team."
Jerry: "I agree. And I hope you don't feel like you have been brought only because of the Rooney Rule."
Candidate: "Of course not."
Jerry: "First, would you like a tour of my stadium?"
Candidate: "Actually, I've been there. It's very nice."
Jerry: "You know, some people call my stadium Jerry World. I don't like that."
Candidate: "Why not?"
Jerry: "I think it should be called Jerry Universe. 'World' seems so small."
Candidate: "OK."
Jerry: "So you are aware, I assume, that we have had an interim head coach in Jason Garrett and he also is a candidate for the head coach's job of the Dallas Cowboys."
Candidate: "Yes. Jason is an outstanding coach."
Jerry: "Can I quote you on that?"
Candidate: "Um, I guess."
Jerry: "Would you like to see our Super Bowl trophies?"
Candidate: "Actually, I've seen those, too."
Jerry: "You know, we've won three of those bad boys since I bought the team."
Candidate: "I'm aware. Right after we set up this interview, I called Jimmy Johnson --"
Jerry: "Jimmy was a great coach. Great coach. You are aware, aren't you, that I gave final approval on every personnel move that was made when Jimmy was head coach?"
Candidate: "Yes, I've heard you say that before."
Jerry: "Well, silly me -- it sounds like I've done most of the talking so far. Do you have any questions for me?"
Candidate: "Yes, thank you. First, after a 6-10 season, you probably are considering making many changes. What are you plans regarding the general man --"
Jerry: "Oh, my. Would you look at the time? I'm supposed to meet with Jason in eight seconds. I have a couple of plays I want to show him that I think we could use next season."
Candidate: "But -- "
Jerry: "Thanks again for coming in. It was great to hear your thoughts. We hope to make an announcement soon. Make sure you get our Twitter address because you deserve to be among the first to find out who we choose."
Find sports humor columnist David Thomas on Facebook by searching for "Fans' Insider," and follow him on Twitter @FansInsider.
dthomas@ star-telegram.com
We encourage members of our Fans' Insider Investigative Team -- motto: "When news breaks, we are there to pick up all of the pieces" -- to take the holidays off and look for community service opportunities.
A couple of our members volunteered as Santa Clauses in local malls.
But once the holidays are over, the kid (and Santa) gloves come off and it's back to getting the hands dirty doing our muckraking best to unearth what is going on behind the scenes in the sports world.
That duty takes us to Valley Ranch, where the interview process began this week to wrap up the exhaustive search for the new non-interim head coach of the Dallas Cowboys of Arlington.
Who, reportedly, will be Jason Garrett.
Our I-Team was able to secure the audio from one interview Jones conducted with an unidentified candidate.
Sounds to us like Jason has been Jerry's man all along.
Here's the interview transcript so you can judge for yourself...
Jerry: "Thank you for coming in for this interview."
Candidate: "Thank you for the opportunity. I believe every coach would want to become head coach of America's Team."
Jerry: "I agree. And I hope you don't feel like you have been brought only because of the Rooney Rule."
Candidate: "Of course not."
Jerry: "First, would you like a tour of my stadium?"
Candidate: "Actually, I've been there. It's very nice."
Jerry: "You know, some people call my stadium Jerry World. I don't like that."
Candidate: "Why not?"
Jerry: "I think it should be called Jerry Universe. 'World' seems so small."
Candidate: "OK."
Jerry: "So you are aware, I assume, that we have had an interim head coach in Jason Garrett and he also is a candidate for the head coach's job of the Dallas Cowboys."
Candidate: "Yes. Jason is an outstanding coach."
Jerry: "Can I quote you on that?"
Candidate: "Um, I guess."
Jerry: "Would you like to see our Super Bowl trophies?"
Candidate: "Actually, I've seen those, too."
Jerry: "You know, we've won three of those bad boys since I bought the team."
Candidate: "I'm aware. Right after we set up this interview, I called Jimmy Johnson --"
Jerry: "Jimmy was a great coach. Great coach. You are aware, aren't you, that I gave final approval on every personnel move that was made when Jimmy was head coach?"
Candidate: "Yes, I've heard you say that before."
Jerry: "Well, silly me -- it sounds like I've done most of the talking so far. Do you have any questions for me?"
Candidate: "Yes, thank you. First, after a 6-10 season, you probably are considering making many changes. What are you plans regarding the general man --"
Jerry: "Oh, my. Would you look at the time? I'm supposed to meet with Jason in eight seconds. I have a couple of plays I want to show him that I think we could use next season."
Candidate: "But -- "
Jerry: "Thanks again for coming in. It was great to hear your thoughts. We hope to make an announcement soon. Make sure you get our Twitter address because you deserve to be among the first to find out who we choose."
Find sports humor columnist David Thomas on Facebook by searching for "Fans' Insider," and follow him on Twitter @FansInsider.