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By Jennifer Floyd Engel
jenfloyd@star-telegram.com


My weekend plans could not be any more shocking to me if somebody said I had committed to watching an all-day Real Housewives of Beverly Hills marathon, or an actual marathon at The South Pole, or watching Tony Siragusa pole-dance.

I travel to Chicago.

To cover a second-round Bears playoff game.

Against Seattle.

While the Cowboys remain in Texas still picking up the pieces from their hot mess of a season.

How the Seahawks reached the playoffs is not lost on me. They were the tallest of the Seven Dwarfs, the least lousy of a really lousy division or just flat lucky. They also did in coach Pete Carroll's first season what it took Wade Phillips three seasons to do with the Cowboys. They won a playoff game, actually beat the defending champs and now are a "W" away from the NFC finals.

The Seahawks. The whole thing is so maddening it makes you want to go to Valley Ranch and start ripping the guts out of this Cowboys organization, pull out every player and every coach and every detail and every philosophy. Lay it out. Dissect and scrutinize. Be brutal.

I know you boys do not watch Oprah. But she has this awesome clutter guru in Peter Walsh, and he would be perfect for Valley Ranch. He basically slaps sense into those who have allowed their lives to be ruined by failing to trash what is not working.

Every house sets a goal. Cowboys, obviously Super Bowl.

Now before anything is allowed to stay or be brought into the house, it has to pass the test of "Does this get me closer to my goal?" The problem with the Cowboys, of course, would be "hell no" to more players than the salary cap allows a team to dump and replace in a year. So some junk is going to have to go back in and be lived with for at least another season.

I will not bore you with too much on the "absolutely must pitch" crew because we all know who they are and why they have to go. Their poster child is Marion Barber, who was a better celebrator than a running back and an all-around pain. Goodbye and good riddance. Be sure to take Martellus Bennett and Igor Olshansky with you.

Also dump Roy Williams, with hopes of signing him back for what he's worth, and Gerald Sensabaugh, a good guy who just never worked here. And it is probably time for Keith Brooking to say goodbye as well.

There also is the "absolutely must keep" crew, who do not merit much discussion, either, with Tony Romo and DeMarcus Ware and Dez and Witten and Ratliff and Bradie and Miles and Spencer and Doug Free and Mike Jenkins. I may be forgetting somebody, but I doubt it. Of course, a few guys on this list need to be given the "You are good. We paid you like you were good. Now play like it" speech.

This leaves us with the "dicey call" crew. Like, do you keep Felix Jones and Tashard Choice even though it still feels as though the team lacks a No. 1 back? Yes, but only a slight lean to yes.

And what about the offensive line, which was so bad at times yet so hard to replace? Andre Gurode is a good dude who had a bad year. Probably keep. The best thing you can say about Marc Colombo is he's cheap. And then there is Kyle Kosier, a free agent who had a good year. The problem is you don't pay age. Or I would not. I also put Terence Newman here. I know he is not getting any younger and many of you want him gone yesterday, but he's signed through 2014, and he might make a good safety.

And finally, this brings me to Jon Kitna.

His performance says bring him back. The reality is the Cowboys do not need an aging QB who can spell them a couple of games. What they need is a young backup that they are grooming to be the guy. Sorry, I do not see Stephen McGee as that guy or really anything more than an NFL backup. Good luck and Godspeed to Kitna; I really mean that, but what this Cowboys team needs is competition. They need a Romo type, a guy who was just starting out and coveted the job. He put pressure on Drew Bledsoe, real pressure.

The "hold your nose and keep them" crew is Leonard Davis and Alan Ball (only as a backup) and David Buehler (only with competition).

As for the coaches, well, everybody is gone. Everybody except Brother Garrett. I say this not because I know his coaching skills but rather because who actually fires his brother? I realize this will be hard for Jason Garrett, especially with offensive line coach Hudson Houck. But if Skip and Sherman are biting the dust, well, then how can you keep the coach of the biggest underachievers on the team?

Of course, hiring Rob "Little Rex" Ryan would be a good start.

I bet he is a good gut yanker and a good discarder.

Until then, I will be freezing in Chicago and wondering how Seattle, with that team, could have accomplished the same one playoff win as this Cowboys team.
 
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This is why i hate journalists. Since when did it become accpetable to use terms like "hot mess" in a news article?

Also, i don't think i've ever seen an article with more words and phrases in quotations. We're paying these people substantial salaries for this garbage and drivel?

Ugh.
 
C

Cr122

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This is why i hate journalists. Since when did it become accpetable to use terms like "hot mess" in a news article?

Also, i don't think i've ever seen an article with more words and phrases in quotations. We're paying these people substantial salaries for this garbage and drivel?

Ugh.

Right...lol

I usually enjoy Jennifer Floyd Engel.
 

Cythim

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This is why i hate journalists. Since when did it become accpetable to use terms like "hot mess" in a news article?

Also, i don't think i've ever seen an article with more words and phrases in quotations. We're paying these people substantial salaries for this garbage and drivel?

Ugh.

This woman sucks as a journalist. Her first paragraph is a run-on sentence and her next three are fragmented sentences. After that she just sucks at using correct English. I don't care about grammar on forums but I would prefer my news to come in a format that is understandable.


I hate this bitch.
 
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